Refuge
by Obscura Wilde
Summary: [Rated for violence and angst] Vera has had some troubles, when she gets reincarnated she decides to change her attitude by working for Saruman, she finds a lot of things on her capture like love, will it help change her ways? Please RR
1. Prolouge: Lost in the Darkness

**Disclaimer:** I do not anything Tolkien created because I don't have the papers and I'm just borrowing them, that's the whole point of fanfiction!

_A/N: I don't know if this story is crappy or good so FLAMES are actually welcome... FLAMES are what makes stories better so tell me if it's bad or not! And I'm discontinuing TTOME for a while because I have too many homeworks and other things to do to even get good plots for TTOME so here's the story... Please tell me if it's Mary Sueish because I can't really tell..._

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**Prolouge:** Lost in the Dark

It's cold...

So cold that I can't even feel the touch of the clothes on my back against my skin...

Only feeling the vast landscape that I am in and the pouring rain against my body...

I'm trying to forget all the things around me, I just want to go away...

Looking for a new past is what I am doing...

I'm trying my best to stay calm... But I never can...

I'm too lost in the darkness and I can't even bear to take a glance at what my fate was...

But I've decided to open my eyes once more to allow more things to erase all the rest of the memories away...

I want a place to call my own where I can live in peace, away from this cold, hard world...

Defenseless and weak was what I once was but now...

But now I start a new...

September the 30th of the year 1998, I calmly walk along the shores of Los Angeles, watching the sun set as I wait for a sign to tell me to go, my tummy started to grumble but I didn't care, I was too afraid to go home, my father would torture me, Maybe because today is the day I have to accept my punishment, the day I have to face my fears, I've always been afraid to die but then I realized that facing your fears was not bad at all, I decided to finish this once and for all.

I gaped at the small alley, I knocked on the wall that was the doorway into my home, my father moved it so I can come in, I have always been afraid of him, he gave me my punishment for not selling the papers, it was not my fault no one would buy them but he didn't care, he was too stressed and he needed to find someone to take it all away, he tries to find someone to blame it on, and that would be me.

September 30, 1998 is my death day, the day I would never forget, it would be too hard to describe it and too hard to write it, my eyes would swell just by the sight of one word but what is the most important thing here is the message of my adventure, to make up for my past I have decided to start a new.

No more Mr. Nice Girl, time for some action...

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_A/N: So, what do you think? Please Read and Review! Oh and the next part of this story would explain the last sentence OK? See you later dudes!_

_Nia_


	2. Chapter 1: A New Beggining

**Disclaimer: **What? LOTR? I don't own it!

_A/N: OK here's chapter 1 and I'm going to explain things more clearly here... Oh to dizzy izzy, sorry about that tummy grumbling thing... I didn't know what to use..._

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**Chapter 1: **A New Beggining

I looked around my surroundings, everything was in order, Saruman would be pleased, ever since he reincarnated me into this world I seemed to be in control, I now lead the orc and Uruk-hai armies into war, Saruman and Lord Sauron are my masters and I respect them, I'm now the merciless creature that I am and I have decided to change my ways, "Stay in line!" I barked at some orcs under me, they all stood in attention in fear of me, I grasped the reigns of my warg, "Are we ready to ride?" I asked them, then they all cheered, "Now warg riders... TO HELM'S DEEP!" I shouted and we rode to where the poor defenseless Eorlingas would be and kill everyone of them, mercilessly...

**Flashback **

**"Where am I?" I asked the stranger, "You are in Isengard m'lady" an old man dressed in white said, he had a deep voice that sounded almost like a grandfather mixed with the chill of evil, I shivered in fear, I backed up into the walls, "No need to be afraid, I am Saruman, you are in my care now, do not be afraid" he said as he extended his hand out to me, I reluctantly held it and he pulled me up.**

**"Tell me... What is your name?" Saruman asked, "V-Vera..." I muttered, "Well Vera, I understand you want to change..." Saruman said, I began to get nervous, _how did this guy know me? _I thought, "I know a lot about you" Saruman answered my question, he led me to the balcony and I saw an army waiting for me to command, "This is YOUR army Vera... Guide them well..." Saruman smirked, and from my nervous face, a smile unfolded in my lips...**

I looked at the figure in the distance, a man with long golden hair just shot an arrow at one of my warg riders, I got out my sword and when we reached the riders that were waiting for us there, I slashed madly, killing everyone in my way and letting my warg eat them up, forgetting everything else I stared at the remains of one rider, I smirked in amusement, I was officially merciless, but then as I was busy watching my faithful orcs kill the other riders I was pulled off my warg by someone, I fell to the ground then I realized a dwarf was the one who pulled me down, "This is no place for a lassie..." he growled putting his axe under my chin, I scowled at him, the battle soon ended and I watched my orcs perish and men gather around me, I scowled at each one and they brought me to Helms Deep.

They bound my hands but I was used to it, since in my past life they were handcuffed too much by my father, he **used** to be a policeman, I rode a spare horse that was guided by the elf and the dwarf's horse, it was amazing on how they got along, _dwarves and elves usually fight_, Sauman said, I was bought inside the fortress and all the men that fought **MY **wargs looked, well, sad...

It seemed like a graveyard once the men got there with me, I was accompanied by some men to where the king was, I looked at the old man as he gave me an icy glare, "What is a woman doing with such ruthless creatures?" he asked me, still glaring, I kept silent, "You will answer when spoken to..." he said, I still kept silent, "Very well... Lock her up..." the king said, "But my lord-" one of the men who accompanied me tried to say but the king silenced him, so I was brought to my prison cell...

Once I was there I began to think, _Where was Saruman? _and _I thought he would protect me..._ But finally during the night after the visit of the king and a rugged man and the elf and the dwarf, they tried to make me talk but I didn't want to, I was too loyal to my master, that night, a group of Uruk-hai was able to make a hole in the wall of my prison cell to rescue me, _Saruman hasn't deserted me at all, _I thought and I ran all the way back to Isengard, awaiting my next move, but my capture made me realize something too, it's that my foe was not too strong at all...

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_A/N: So? What do you think? I know I made some immature sayings but what can I say? I'm used to it! Anyway if anyone wants to correct me, go ahead, I'm not going to bother! Now on the review answering!_

Southerngirl4615: _OK I'm back from the dead and here to review and read again! Sorry I took **SO** long though... I was too busy trying to get all these homeworks and projects done... Plus I had to dance the song Toxic by Britney Spears... Imagine Gandalf and Saruman dancing that with the costumes Britney wore in the video... [shudders] Have to add that in TTOME... _

ScarlettWytch: _OK sorry for not being there to review you... But I am reading Fool of a Took! I like it! It's just because my reviewing pop up thing won't open! It's so evil... Anyway I'm glad you're reading this story! It's just another plot bunny in my head... But I kinda like it so I think I'll continue it! And yeah I am bummed out by TTOME... But eventually I'll be able to post the Season 2 one soon! _

dizzy izzy: _Thanks for the tip! Greatly appreciated! Glad you like this story too! The rest are all crazy and insane once... Finally I can make a good serious fic... _

Dread Lady Freya: _HEY FREYA!!! MISSED YOU! When you started to stop reviewing TTOME I got worried... Anyway Nice to see you again reviewing! You were my most faithful reviewer to begin with along with DreaminofLorien! Anyway hope you'll continue R/Ring! Well yeah as said before I planned to make the prolouge more clear in this chapter so happy you've read my story! _

_Well that's about it.. Thanks to everyone who has read this story and reviewed me! Everything you get confused about would be hopefully answered in the next chapters! _AND HAPPY FIRST DAY OF SEPTEMBER! THE MONTH OF FRODO AND BILBO'S BIRTHDAY! I'M GOING TO CELEBRATE IT BECAUSE IT'S MY BELOVED FRODO'S BIRTHDAY! _I wonder if Elijah Wood would celebrate it..._


	3. Chapter 2: Unwanted Visitors

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything that has to do with LoTr!

_A/N: Sorry the first chapter was kinda, um... Rushed... Well I have my UT's and I'm patiently waiting for my grandma to give me my Elijah Wood poster this weekend... Well speaking of Elijah, today, September 2,2004, FIVE PEOPLE CALLED ME EITHER MRS. ELIJAH OR MRS. WOOD and THREE ASKED ME HOW ELIJAH WAS DOING!!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW HOW HE WAS DOING??!! And that's all because one of my classmates found a paper that I was doodling on that had Elijah's name written all over it! At least it wasn't that humiliating! Well thanks to Tina, Freya, dizzy izzy and Ali for reviewing the first chapter I'm so happy... [wipes tear] LOL!_

_PS: I dunno the orc that threw Aragorn over the cliff's name so I named him... SHNARGA! THE KILLER OF KING GREASY! And Ilthinden is Legolas' pretend brother, by me!_

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**Chapter 2:** Unwanted VisitorsVera's POV 

I ran up the stairs of Saruman's tower, I never really knew what it's name was, I found Saruman raising his hand up, over the palantir, as he called it, and his hand was twitching, he seemed to be talking to himself, then when he finally stopped I stood straight, "Vera, how nice of you to join me..." he said when he finally calmed down, he took a seat on his chair or throne and I stood before him, "Were you able to fight most of them?" Saruman asked, "Killed most of them..." I corrected icily, "Good..." he said, "I am surprised that you were captured though..." Saruman started to say but I cut in, "It wasn't my fault! A dwarf pulled me down when I was watching the others but I wasn't able to see it!" I shouted, "There's no need to be upset about it... It was part of my plan..." Saruman grinned, "What was your plan?" I asked curiously, "Well, one of your orcs have helped me in something important..." he started, "The destruction of the king of Gondor..." he cackled, "He was there?" I asked, "I was going to ask you..." he said, my eyes looked at his puzzled, "Did you see a man? A rugged man with dark, greasy hair that rides with the king?" he asked me seriously, "He fell down, Shnarga pushed him over the cliff..." I said, "Good..." he grinned evilly.

I went back into my room, which Saruman provided for me, I unsheathed my sword and started wiping the blood that stained it, then there was a knock on the door, I didn't keep my eyes off the door, "Come in" I said and Wormtongue entered, he was only here for a few days but we were bonding... But I still found him creepy... "You were capured?" he asked, "Can you tell by my sudden disappearance?" I asked, he stared at the sword, "So?" I asked, "Oh nothing, it's just that I really wanted Eowyn..." he muttered, "Who that shieldmaiden?" I asked, he nodded grimly, "Can I have the liberty of killing the king then?" I asked, "Can you really do that?" he asked surprised, I calmly shook my head then looked at him, "You think I cant?" I asked, clearly hinting that I was serious.

Legolas's POV 

"Women are not supposed to be in wars..." Theoden murmured, "Maybe it's another one of Saruman's tricks, he knows we cannot hurt a woman..." Gamlig said, I left them there to converse, I sat down beside Gimli, "So, what do we do about Aragorn?" I asked, "We can sneak out at night then look for his body..." Gimli replied, more like grunted, I smirked at the thought, "Or we can just wait for him to return..." a voice came from behind us, Gimli was startled but I was aware of Lady Eowyn's presence.

It was the day after Aragorn fell, everything seemed like chaos after he left, men were losing hope, maybe what Lord Elrond has said was true...

Flashback 

"**Men..." ada spat, "Do not underestimate them... They have a lot of things that show them their worth" the White Lady Galadriel replied to his comment wisely, "But they are fading... I saw it..." Lord Elrond said pitifully, "Only if the king comes we will be saved..." Galadriel murmured, "He will not come..." Elrond said, I stood by the doorway of my father's conference room and I walked away, I ran to my older brother, Ilthinden "Ada says that there is a war coming..." I muttered, "Will you participate?" Ilthinden ased me, I just let my head turn away, "Ada may not recognize you for your deeds now, but someday he will..." Ilthinden smiled, I smiled back at him.**

At the memory of my brother, I grew grim as I walked in the corridors near the gates then I heard footsteps getting closer to the door, I watched as the door slightly open and I saw the woman that we have captured the other day, but, why did she come back?

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_A/N: Soooooooooo... What do you think? Sorry if it's so short... A longer one would come! PROMISE! I'm still recovering from barfing in school too... My classmates said I looked pale... And right before I barfed I looked liked Galadriel in the freaky green mode... EVILNESS ROCKS! And it's officially HYPER FRIDAY! And this is my quote before I was picked up from school by my mom... "HEY DUMBASSES!" I shouted at Nadi and Paula, they both tried to talk to me but... "OK I gotta go, Remember it's Hyper Friday so be hyper! AND TGIF! BYE!" I hugged them then ran to my mom! Well review answering time!_

**Dread Lady Freya:** _No harm done to me! I was gone for two weeks in because I had so much stuff to do for school... Well thanks for the tips too! They're very much appreciated and thanks for the compliment! That's what I like about reviews... Well I'm sorry for all the nightmares, it's just that I'm evil because I got a song stuck on everyone's head in TTOME and now I'm clouding people's minds with random insanity! Well see you later!!! Plus you guessed right... [coughLegolascough] HAPPY TO SEE YOU REVIEW AGAIN!_

**Southerngirl4615:**_ You need melatonin... I studied hormones for my Science test so melatonin would do wonders... The thing is that you really need your beauty sleep or you'll end up like a wreck... Well All I have to say is that I'm so happy to finally get through my tests so reviewing and updating non-stop! Well happy that you reviewed! I'll try to e-mail you back sometime later too! _

**Dizzy izzy:** _Of course you're very much appreciated, I wouldn't get anywhere without my reviewers! I'm also happy that I haven't received harsh reviews yet like, "HEY YOU SUCK! YOU'RE NOT FIT TO BE A F------ AUTHOR!!!" Well you're the best And I'll try to slow down too... It's just that my dad keeps on saying, "GET OUT OF THE COMPUTER AND DO YOUR COMPUTER OR I'LL DISCONNECT THE CABLE!!!" Well now you know why! _

**Lady Alinoe: **_MISSED YOU!!! Sorry I haven't been reviewing... [feels ashamed and beats herself up with a stick] Well I gotta go post this now! And you're forgiven for not reviewing the first chapter! Oh plus they didn't kill her because they needed information about Saruman and soon they won't trust her and they'd threaten to kill her but they never will because they are DAMN SEXISTS! _


	4. Chapter 3: Lies

**Disclaimer:** I do not own LoTr!

_OK so here is the long chapter! As promised! Enjoy my faithful reviewers and eat cookies! shoves cookies into reviewer's mouths Oh and if I got the name of the king's advisor wrong please tell me! I CAN'T SPELL IT! And last few reminders... I'm not following the movie script nor the books! I'm editing it! But it's still following the plot! And I found out the source of my virus... It's my floppy disk where all my other fanfiction is so absolutely NO TTOME Season 1 like before! I'm making a new better one! _

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**Chapter 3:** Lies of Murderers...

Vera's POV I came back to get revenge, not to help them, I planned the revenge sweetly... 

I watched every grim face pass by until I was brought in front of the king, again, I stared into his eyes again, staring at it with every piece of evil I had in myself, "So you've decided to come back?" he asked, "Yes, but just to get my revenge..." I growled, "We'll see about that..." he said, he walked up to me, "Tell me, I want to know everything, everything you know about Saruman" he said, "Why should I tell you anything?" I asked, the king scowled, "Women do not act this way..." he said, "Because men aren't superior, we are equal and you're a sexist pig" I said, the king looked at me in the eye, "I don't take orders from women..." he snarled, "And I certainly don't take orders from one..."

I wasn't afraid of them king, I was afraid of what would happen, Saruman told me to act my best so it would be easier to get the king weak, I would have to kill the king, it's just that I was afraid to do it, I'd have more enemies, I could be put through a horrible death if we lost, I would have the guilt embedded in my heart forever...

"You are pushing your luck woman..." the king's advisor said as he led me to my cell, it was the same one but the hole was filled, "This woman has a name..." I said as he locked the cell, "Would you be as so kind to tell me your name?" the advisor said, "Only if you tell me what the rest of their names are..." I said, "And not mention my name to anyone else..." I added, "Fine... You first..." the advisor said, "I'm Vera, my real name's Veronica but Vera seems more appropriate for me..." I said, "Well I'm Gamlig, the king is King Theoden, the elf is Legolas of Mirkwood, the dwarf is Gimli, son of Gloin and the shieldmaiden-"he said but I cut him off, "Sheildmaiden?" I asked, "Yes, shieldmaiden, Lady Eowyn, she is usually helping the wounded from the battles..." Gamlig explained, "Oh..." I replied, "Well m'lady, I must be off..." Gamlig said as he bowed his head and went back to the king, "Finally someone who's not a sexist..." I smiled

**Legolas's POV**

I walked by the gates, then it started to open again, I grabbed one of my knives, ready if there were any other orcs coming, then I realized that it was Aragorn on Brego, I ran to Aragorn and helped him off his horse, "Hannad le" Thank you Aragorn whispered, "Let me help you..." I said, "No... I can do it... I need to see the king..." Aragorn said, I let go of him and I watched him go inside the throne room, I went inside after him and I found the girl in front of the king, again, "Aníron peded a Aragorn!" I wish to speak to Aragorn she told at the king, _How did she know his name? _I asked myself Aragorn calmly went to her and whispered something to her, then she stood up and accompanied Aragorn to a nearby table

**Vera's POV**

"Pedich Edhellen?" Do you speak Elvish? Aragorn asked, "Ie... "Yes... I mutterd, "Essé lín man?" What is your name? Aragorn asked, "An man nóla le merne ista?" Why do you want to know? I asked stubbornly, Aragorn just looked at me, "Essé nín Vera" My name is Vera I whispered, I wanted to make sure no one heard my name, "Vera..." he muttered, "They tell me that you were part of the wargs that attacked us" Aragorn said, "Yes..." I admitted, "You were their leader?" Aragorn asked, I nodded, "Why were you with them?" Aragorn asked, "I worked, used to work for Saruman..." I muttered obviously lying, our plan was to kill the king during the attack on Helm's Deep, while the orcs are coming I was supposed to sneak up behind the king and kill him, "Used to?" Aragorn asked, "Yes, used to..." I answered, "Well... I think we need to ask you some things and we want answers..." Aragorn said, "Are you willing to answer?" he asked, "It depends..." I replied, "Alright then..." Aragorn said as he stood up

**At Isengard**

"**My lord!" Wormtongue shouted as he went up the stairs, he reached the top and found Saruman looking out the window, "My Lord! Vera is going to tell our secrets! I heard it from the orcs that asked where Vera was going, she explained to them that she was going to tell the king-"Wormtongue tried to explain but Saruman cut him in, "She will tell the king that we are going to attack during the night of the 3rd of March and we will come in a small number..." Saruman grinned, "But my lord, we have an army of ten thousand!" Wormtongue said, "She knows that but they will not..." Saruman cackled**

**At Helm's Deep**

"So you work for Saruman?" the king asked, "What have I said?" I asked rolling my eyes, the king went to Aragorn and whispered something and Aragorn whispered something back at him, "What's up his sleeve?" the king asked, "He has a surprise attack of ten coming... He is sending them at the date of March 3, I advise you to prepare a lot of men for this, he is sending his skilled warriors, and if possible, let the women fight... They might do goo-"I tried to say but the king butted in, "I will not sacrifice the women into battle..." he said in a more grandfatherish tone of voice, I jumped back in surprise, I stared at him and watched him sit on his throne, and rub his temples, "Sitting there and doing nothing won't help..." I said, the king glared at me, "You seem like you're lying by the movement of your eyes" Aragorn said, "If you wish to tell us, no harm will be done to you, we can save you from your master" Aragorn said, "You don't know anything!" I barked at him, "Calm down..." the king said, I stood up straight, "If you wish to tell us, come to me, I will not get mad..." the king added then he stood up and went to his room

**Thoeden's POV**

She's just a girl, a little girl inside but outside she's a killer, how did this come about? "My Lord Theoden..." Gamlig said, "Yes?" I asked him, "The girl will go to the dungeons?" he asked, "No... She won't... Let her sleep in Theodred's room..." I said, trying to forget the memory of Theodred, "Yes my lord..." Gamlig said, I went beside my window, "Theodred, why did you leave us here?" I asked, a single tear soon fell down my face

**Vera's POV**

I stepped inside the room, my eyes grew wide, "This is my room?" I asked the lady, "Yes my lady..." she said, "I'm sorry but I'm not of high standards so please don't call me 'my lady'..." I said turning to her then I turned away, "I do not deserve that treatment, I've done too much not to deserve it..." I said hugging myself, the lady looked at me, she was taller and she seemed more mature but I felt that she wasn't that old, probably only a few years older, "Alright then... So what do I address you?" the lady asked, "Maybe Aunt Bee?" I smirked, "Aunt Bee?" she asked and I nodded, "Aunt Bee then..." she said as she walked towards the door, "Wait!" I called out, "What's your name?" I asked, "Eowyn, my name's Eowyn!" she smiled, I smiled back then she walked away, "Eowyn..." I whispered, "I'm sorry you have such a terrible fate ahead of you..." I told myself sadly,

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_OK just to clarify some things... Aunt Bee is my English Teacher's nickname! I wonder why.... Oh and I have the Trojan Horse virus in my floppy disk... Just found out now... Anyway, sorry this took so late! I had to study but now the tests are over so posting time! Oh and sorry no review replies though... Maybe in the next chapter! _


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